🍂🧡 Let’s talk about coffee💘 My review of Coffee A M’s Fall flavored Coffee Sampler 🧡🍂

This is a series I’ve been wanting to do since March, when I discovered a little hidden gem of an on-line store called Coffee A M. I LLLOOOVVVEEE trying all different flavors and nationalities of unique coffees. However, because of covid, the coffee inventory in my local grocery stores has dwindled, leaving only a small selection of the same old-same olds available. 

Then my stupid, pain-in-the-ass digestive health problems flared up, and I had to switch to decaf, which limited my coffee choices even more. Every time I needed to get more coffee at the store, it was always the same boring thing. I could either have decaf classic roast or decaf house blend, decaf house blend or decaf classic roast. Ugh shoot me! So depressing. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate having to try to make the best of settling for less more than I hate roaches and mosquitoes. 

One weekend, after another disappointing quest for different decafs, I decided to search the internet for a sign of hope that decaf coffee drinkers don’t have to be stuck in a coffee rut. I looked up flavored decaf coffees, and BAM! I found heaven on Earth. Coffee A M has a hundred or so different kinds of coffees that are also available in decaf! Woohoo! Oh, rejoice! There is a God! 

Their website is easy to maneuver through, AND to my further overwhelming joy, IT’S ACCESSIBILITY USER FRIENDLY!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Each coffee’s page has an easy-to-use form to fill out, giving you a choice of whole bean, drip grind, french press grind, or espresso grind. Their New Orleans style chicory coffee is the only one I’ve seen that’s not available in whole bean, which makes sense. Not all of the coffees’ forms, but a good enough number of them, offer the choice of regular or decaf. And most of the coffees are available in three different bag sizes—half-pound, one-pound, or five-pound. You also have the choice to get your chosen coffee once, or subscribe for that same coffee to be delivered to your home or office routinely. As a bonus, you could even customize your coffee, by adding a 25-character message on the coffee bag. How cool is that? 

Your coffee is freshly made, once they receive your order. You have a choice of which delivery service you want to use, but their default delivery service—Fedex Home Delivery—has been good enough for me. I’ve been getting my yummy fresh coffee within only two to three days. 

Aside from coffee, they have other cool products—different types of coffee makers, smoothie mixes, hot chocolate mixes, loose leaf teas, instant iced coffee mixes, single-serve coffees, and the list goes on. I even came across a couple types of whip cream makers. 

Such an amazing variety of stuff and variety of coffee really tickles the fancy of my inner maximalist. I want to try everything. EVERYTHING! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ! With so many flavors of coffee to choose from, the best way to try more flavors at once is to order their sampler packs. The first sampler pack I cracked open is their Fall Flavored Coffee Sampler. This consists of a half-pound bag of each of these flavors—nutmeg spice, pumpkin spice, caramel apple, southern pecan, Vermont maple pecan, and crème brûlée. Here is my review for each of these flavors. 

*** 

NUTMEG SPICE: five stars 

This flavor was love at first try, but I loved it even more when I made it a second time. I don’t know if it’s the lining of the heat sealed bags they use, but sometimes the flavors taste better a couple days or so after you opened the bag. When I tried this coffee when it was freshly opened, the smell was incredible, and it tasted like a yummy, cozy spiced coffee. However, I was the slightest bit disappointed that it didn’t taste exactly like its name. The nutmeg aroma was noticeable, but the nutmeg flavor didn’t stand out among the other baking spice flavors. When I made a pot of this coffee a week later, the nutmeg both smelled and tasted Pleasantly stronger, I just love, love, love the combination of coffee and autumn spices together. Coffee A M’s nutmeg spice coffee is the ultimate comfort drink. I’ll most definitely be ordering this flavor again in the future. 

*** 

PUMPKIN SPICE: four stars 

Oh, this coffee smelled so delicious, I wanted to take a spoon, and start eating the grounds right out of the bag. Then come to find out, the smell was more aromatic than the pumpkin spice taste. Even after the second try. The pumpkin taste kind of stands out, along with caramelly hints of sugar and molasses, but there’s a lack of spiciness. It’s like pairing a cup of top quality coffee with a bland piece of pumpkin pie. I mean, it’s still good and I enjoy it, but it could be better. Would I get it a second time? Not sure. 

*** 

CARAMEL APPLE: once five stars, now four stars 

I had tried this flavor individually, and loved it so much. It was appley and caramelly, and oh so addictive. I looked forward to having seconds on this flavor, when I ordered the autumn sampler. Caramel apple was an instant “flavorite” that I didn’t think I could ever get sick of. So much so that I entertained the idea of ordering an additional one-pound bag of it. Phew! Now I’m glad I didn’t. The second time around had me feeling jipped. The yummy, buttery caramel flavor is there, but they really, really reduced the apple flavoring. Now there’s just a tease of an apple taste. It’s still good and I still enjoy it, but it used to be better. What the hell happened??? Was this an official recipe change? Or is it one of those things where each batch of coffee might taste different, depending on who prepares your order? Or worse—Are they doing the dastardly stereo typical business bullshit, by skimping on certain flavorings to stretch them out in order to cut costs, or increase prophet? After I post my complainttive review, I’ll give this flavor one more try. If it still doesn’t taste like the way it used to, I just won’t order it again. I don’t consider myself a coffee connoisseur. Maybe more like a coffee diva. If it says caramel apple flavored coffee, I want it to taste like caramel apple flavored coffee. Not caramel flavored coffee with a little touch of apple. 

*** 

SOUTHERN PECAN: four stars 

The smell of this coffee was drool-worthy. Like top quality coffee and real, freshly roasted pecans. However, like with the pumpkin spice, the aroma was more there than the taste. It is a really good coffee, but the pecan flavor is more of an after-taste. This is another flavor I’m not sure if I’d get again. 

*** 

VERMONT MAPLE PECAN: two stars 

Oh, bleck! What the heck?! Please tell me the person who prepared my order goofed on this one. Maybe that person was a trainee? There’s a pecan flavor and a weird flavor that doesn’t taste at all like maple. It doesn’t taste like something that’s meant to be a coffee flavoring at all. Before I open my coffees, I always smell them through that sniffing circle thing on the front of the bag, and this one didn’t smell right. However, I wasn’t going to be judgmental, thinking back on the time when I ordered Coffee A M’s New Orleans style chicory coffee. At first sniff, it smelled like a combination of coffee and punky pet store smell. But when I tried it, it tasted awesome. This didn’t happen with the Vermont maple pecan coffee. It smells and tastes like roasted pecans, humid outside air, and a hint of an indistinguishable Chemicaly taste. Perhaps the maple flavoring had expired and they didn’t realize it? I didn’t die after drinking it, or get sick, or hallucinate that I was Ronald McDonald, here to defend the planet from evil, french fry eating, Martian tennis players. I gave it two stars because, as weird and funky as it is, this flavor is at least palatable. I decided to drink it anyway, because I would hate to throw it away. These coffees are not cheap. After several tries, I got acclimated to the flavor. I just imagine that it’s coffee flavored with pecans that were imported from another Galaxy. I would give this flavor one more try, just out of Curiosity. Did I get a blooper batch? Or is this flavor just no good? 

*** 

Crème brûlée: five stars 

Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum! This wouldn’t have been a flavor that I would’ve ordered individually, because I’ve had it before many-a-times, and it’s become quite common. Even among the grocery stores’ limited inventory, there’s usually at least one or two brands available in this flavor. I mainly ordered the Fall Flavored coffee sampler, because I wanted to try the nutmeg spice and Vermont maple pecan, and I wanted seconds on caramel apple. I wasn’t as stoked about the mainstream pumpkin spice, southern pecan, and crème brûlée flavors, but I wanted to try them anyway, because I never had Coffee A M’s version of them. And what in the world does crème brûlée have to do with autumn? Who cares! I’m so glad it was included in the sampler! I never would’ve expected to love it this much. It’s the best flavor out of the six. Even better than nutmeg spice. Through the sniffing circle, the aroma was absolutely tantalizing. As I opened the bag, and then brewed a pot, the smell grew more and more mouth watering. Like fresh brewed, top quality coffee and a freshly made, decadent, sweet, sinful indulgence.. And the taste… Oh, the taste! Wow! Holy crap! Hot diggety dam! Mmmmm, mmmmm, MMMMM!! It tasted like a mixture of high-end coffee with a caramelized sugar and vanilla accented, rich and creamy baked dessert taste. Now this is what I call flavored coffee. 

I’ve read the reviews for many flavors, while browsing through Coffee A M, many of which I haven’t tried yet. I’ve seen a good number of reviews where a customer loves a coffee, because it has just the right hint of flavoring. Selfishly, I hope these people don’t get around to the crème brûlée flavor, and ruin it for me. I don’t want a stupid, teasing little hint of flavor. I personally prefer the coffee and its flavoring to come together like an equally balanced flavor duet. Not like the coffee being the lead singer, and the flavoring being just the back-up vocals. Crème brûlée is another one of my Coffee A M flavorites, and I would most definitely, 100%, absolutely positively get it again. If you love flavorful flavored coffee, BUY… THIS… COFFEE!! 

Have a great weekend, everybody, and happy 4th of July to all you fellow Americans! 

Love you all! Post you soon!      

Thank You, Rev. Smart-Ass

It was Halloween of 1993—No, I don’t have this thing with 1993. No special, sentimental attachment to that year. It just so happens that some blog-worthy true stories took place that year, and I’m telling you a second one. 

So anyway, it was Halloween of 1993, the second-to-last Halloween I went trick-or-treating. I went with my friend, George, his younger sister and brother, Rose and Billy, and Billy’s friends, Paul and Kevin. I was a demon, and George was a Florida Power worker. I don’t remember who Rose and Kevin dressed up as, but Billy and Paul were Beevis and Butthead, which was so 1993. 

Paul, being the blond haired boy, was Beevis. Billy had brown hair, so he was Butthead. They had the simplest, most budget-friendly costumes out of all of us. Just shorts and solid colored T-shirts. Paul’s blue shirt had Metallica written across the front, in black marker, and Billy’s gray shirt said ACDC. The two boys stayed in character, almost the whole trip. 

“Uh… uh huh huh huh huh, Trick-or-treat.” 

“Yeah, yeah, uh hmm hmm hmm hmm. I need TP for my bung hole.” 

“Shut up, fart-knocker, huh huh huh huh.” 

As we made our rounds from neighborhood to neighborhood, we were getting a nice, gluttonous collection of candy. George, Billy, and Rose’s mom drove us to all of our candy grabbing destinations, but she liked to get us home around 6:30. This was years before my country’s politicians decided to extend Daylight Savings time until November. So 6:30 used to be near dusk, that time of year. When I went trick-or-treating with George and company, we usually got in about 2 hours of candy hunting. If it weren’t for his safety conscious mom, we would’ve went about it until midnight. You know how greedy kids can get. 

The sun had set, and we didn’t have that many more streets to go. When we turned down one street, the most delicious smell of fresh baked, homemade peanut butter cookies wafted into our noses. The alluring smell was like fishing hooks reeling us in. With mouths watering, and eyes wide with our child-like simple joy over more junk food, we eagerly followed the sent. The closer we got, the more amazing it smelled.

The smell was coming from a house that had its doors and windows wide open. Enticing us to come on in, and help ourselves to some of the world’s greatest peanut butter cookies. It smelled like the recipe called for $300-a-jar peanut butter, and maybe a few enchantments. I think I was swooning a little. 

A man greeted us at the wide open front door. We eagerly opened our bags for him… 

And he gave each of us a church pamphlet. 

The pamphlets were a reminder that the real Halloween treat doesn’t come in a wrapper, or on a stick. The real treat is that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Then it went into this cutely written story about it. The title of this pamphlet was The Treat. So this religious guy had a sense of humor, giving us kids our treat

I was a Christian at that age, who loved Jesus Christ, but man, I really wanted a peanut butter cookie. Of course I should’ve been grateful, but when I was a kid, getting a pamphlet of soul-nourishing reading material for a Halloween treat, was as thrilling as getting pennies and nickels, or fresh fruit.  

“The Treat? Really? Ha, ha, thank you, rev. Smart-Ass.” I thought, as we graciously thanked him, and headed for the next house. I thought these sort of things only happened on The Simpsons. I pictured Ned Flanders doing something like this. My overactive imagination kicked in, and I wondered if this guy deliberately intended for the delicious smell of his baking to waft into the street, and allure the children to his house. So he could hand them his church pamphlets, and encourage the youngsters to convert to his way of Christianity. 

When I got home, I took out The Treat. The pamphlet was folded almost like an envelope. A  very thick envelope that smelled strongly of the world’s greatest Peanut butter cookies. The title was written in big, orange letters, and orange—for some weird reason—is a color associated with peanut-butteriness. So there had to be a cookie somewhere within the bulky folds of that pamphlet. So I unfolded it, and even shook the thing a little. No cookie. The pamphlet was just made of sturdy, bulky paper. I admit that I even chewed on the upper left-hand corner a bit. The smell made me do it. 

So what was I going to do with an object of such heavenly aroma? It was too yummy smelling to throw away. 

So I put it in my sock drawer, as a sachet. Then it was my oh-so-1990’s slouch socks that smelled like they were made with $300-a-jar peanut butter, and a few enchantments. I know that was a blasphemous thing to do to a church pamphlet, but it brought a higher meaning to my socks, when they got “holy”